Thursday, June 14, 2007

And God said, "Let there be snark"

Brilliantly snarky Kentucky blogger Blue Grass Roots went to the brand-spanking new Creation Museum, so we don't have to. And what a tour it is:

(T)he visitor is given advice on the proper mind frame to have for your visit: “Don’t think, just listen and believe”. As you can see in the picture below, Human Reason is the enemy and God’s Word is the hero. Descartes represents Human Reason, saying “I think, therefore I am”. But God tells us there no need to waste your beautiful mind, for God says “I am that I am”. ...
And, of course, the seven days of creation is exactly seven days as we know it, and God had a Lazy B lounger to kick back in on Day 7, after church.
... We then venture into the recreation of the Garden of Eden ... Here, a creatively covered up Adam pets the friendly animals of the garden. Oh, and there’s no need to be afraid, because all of the animals at this time were like Disney cartoon characters. They did not bite, sting, or even defecate for that matter. Even the T-Rexes were playful and gay. Adam even gave them all names! How cute!
Um, yeh, that's a papier-mache man-eating velociraptor playing with their granddaughter.
... At the end of the museum, we see Fred Flintstone’s riding lawnmower, otherwise known as a Triceratops, one would assume. Here we see a father, after a long day of infecting his child with propaganda, letting his son play “Bam-Bam Rubble” on the riding mower (which my friend Jon called a “Jesus Horse”. I like that.) ...
And then the other stuff happened.


Who would have guessed they'd look so real? No wonder they had to post that sign under the bloody skinned pigs (below right): "Thou shalt not touch, Please!" That must be the 11th commandment Moses brought down from Mount Sinai.

... The visitors are then given a horribly mind numbing film presentation of the Christ years, but the fun part begins after those mean Jews in the Mel Gibson movie kill him. Yes, after Christ died for everyone but Patti Smith’s sins, we see mankind begin to question God’s Word. As you can see, people began to use that whole “logic” and “reason” bullshit again to ATTACK God’s Word. ...
I'm as devout as the next Christian -- well, maybe not in the same way as the evolution deniers -- but thanks, Mr. Blue, for saving me $20, and the gas too!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN!! GOD CREATED ALL THE WORLD FROM NOTHING IN 6 DAYS HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF HIS WORD!!! IF THESE FOSSILS THEY SAY ARE DINOSAURS THAN THEY WERE CREATED DURING THE SAME SIX DAYS AS ADAM AND LIVED WITH HIM AND ANY REAL CHRISIAN KNOWS THAT! YOUR ARE A LIAR!!!!!!!!